OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
