I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
