I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
