what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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