I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dear god my vagina.
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