when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
