I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
