I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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