zippers are such a cool invention
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
