$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
