Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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