We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
