Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
