They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
