Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize