so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
