I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My ass is underappreciated
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize