I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
