this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
