I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
