make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
two words...techno handjob
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
