chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
