Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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