Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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