You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
