He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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