how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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