There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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