hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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