You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
