I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
