i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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