Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
