When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
4 words: hood of his car
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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