You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
