If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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