im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
