I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
