Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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