remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
