Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
