you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
