Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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