Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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