You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
