Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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