I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
