so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
