Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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