No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
