you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
