I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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