So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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