My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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