I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
