Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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