So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
