Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
