shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My penis needs a shock collar
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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