I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
