so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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