I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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