I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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