Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
