I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
