hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
