I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
