just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
